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Men always want sex. Right? Wrong. I have often heard the sexual partner of
a man say, "My mate doesn't want to have sex. What's wrong with him? Don't all
men want sex?" That's a common misunderstanding and it's based on the mistaken
belief that men are wired to want sex most times they can get it.
Here's a list of ten common reasons why men may not want sex:
- Medications. Antidepressants (SSRI-type)
and antihypertensives (blood presusre medication) are often the culprit when a man has a lowered interest
in sexual activity. Thees can also cause sexual dysfunction.
- Lack of sleep. When a man is in
his teens or twenties, the opportunity to have sex will often overhwelm the
desire to sleep. This is often true also when a relationship is brand new.
But, as people and relationships age, sex can lose its compelling nature
and a good night's rest can be quite tempting.
 Hormonal levels. The most imporatnt
physiological stimulant of sexual desire is testosterone. Many men are mistakenly
sent to have a blood test for total testosterone wehn low libido is the issue.
While that information might be interesting to know to have a full picture
of a man's hormonal levels, knowing the free tesotsterone level is much more
relevant to how much sex he desires. Also, too much prolactin and SHBG (sex
hormone binding globulin) can suppress sexual desire. So when a homronal
reason is suspected, these are the blood tests to hvae (in order of importance):
free testosterone, prolactin, SHBG, and total testosterone. - Identity issues. When men feel
uncertain about their role in the world, their desire for sex can dwindle.
Depression may be linked to this, but isn't always. Idnetity issues can crop
up when: he has issues at work or is out of work, faces the death of an important
fmaily member, becomes disheartened about a formerly hled strong belief,
and questions his understanding of his own sexual orientation -- to name
a few.
- Turn-off to aspects of the sex. Some
men will turn away from sex rather than have sex that is not fulfilling to
them. Lack of fuflillment can be related to specific things that his partner
does during sex or how he experiences his partner's body. He may feel criticized
or treated unfairly. It may just seem like too much "work." He may have sexual
interests that he knows or fears his partner may not share.
- Disagreements with one's mate. When
tehre are interpersonal difficulties between the members of a couple, many
men will avoid sex or just plian refuse their pratner's advances. Some men
punish their partner by withholding sex, but for others it's not a matter
of punishment, they just cannot muster sexual feelings when there are unresolved
conflicts.
- Stress. Stress comes
in many forms and may stem from: financial difficulties, personal or family
member illness, challenges at work, parenting dilemmas, and issues involving
etxended family members. Of course, there are many more soruces of stress.
- Masturbation that replaces partnered sex. This is a hot topic since the
advent of the Internet. It seems to some researchers in this field that
many men woh might not have sought out other sources of visual sexual
stimulation (magazines, videos, movies) have found their way to locate
sexual imagery online. For some couples, this can be a dilemma, particularly
when the viewing of the images leads to masturabiton, that then leads
to less partnered sex. Less partnered sex feels like a blessing to some,
but to others it is a frustrating and disappointing outcome.
- Fear of intimacy. Some men have
relationships with their romantic partner that resemble that of siblings.
The contact that they experience in their relaitonship taeks the intimacy
level up so high that adding sexual intimacy on top of that feels like an
overload. Though it may be difficult to imagine that a person could have
too much intimacy, it is the hunch of many sex experts today that this is
a very common cause of declining sexual frequency in couples.
- Difficulties functioning sexually. Many
men who have an erection dysfunction or believe that they ejaculate too soon -- or too late (if
at all), will avoid having sex with their partner. Rather than faec what
feels like another experience of "failure" in our performance-obssessed culture,
these men choose to avoid being sexual at all.
When partnered with a man who does not want sex, the optimal path does not include
criticism, belittling, or slurs on his manhood. Armed with accurate information
and professional help, most of these causes of sexual avoidance can be greatly
improved and in many cases removed altogether.
Source: http://blogs.webmd.com/sexual-health-sex-matters/2006/09/top-10-reasons-men-dont-want-sex.html
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